George, a knight without armor, shrugged his shoulders to save Claire.
“At 4am this morning, as I was taking a deep nap, I was called into action by my wife who had discovered a spider the size of a half dollar in the bathroom,” Kittle wrote on social media. “Without hesitation, I got up to fight the burglar. Claire handed me the incline board I’ve been using for rehab, and I knew right away that the spider didn’t stand a chance. It only took one attempt to knock my opponent down. I got a hug and a kiss for my bravery and went back to sleep with confidence. Have a good day, gentlemen.”
Although Kittle fortunately escaped the collision without harming his already sick Achilles, he drew the attention of PETA, the world’s largest animal welfare organization.
PETA argued that “spiders deserve a good day, too,” writing that it was sending humane bug catcher Kittle’s way.
With those struggles now seemingly behind the All-Pro, he can turn his focus back to recovering and tackling the upcoming season. If nothing else, the 49ers’ performance showed that manhood still exists.
Actually, chivalry isn’t dead, but this spider is.